I would like to thank the citizens of Whitefield for voting against the proposed school budget last Monday. Your action opens the door for turning the school to a more useful purpose, like a factory. Why should our cheap plastic crap be made in China when it can be manufactured here in our town by our own children?
I especially want to thank the parents who did not turn out to vote. Your children will make excellent workers in our sweat shop. There they will no longer waste time on nonsense like reading, math, art and music, but instead learn useful life skills like pushing the buttons on the injection-molded plastic machine. For their labor they will be rewarded commensurate with their colleagues in Viet Nam, Cambodia and El Salvador--how does 40 cents a week sound? With all that extra income in addition to the taxes you’re saving by not funding the school, you will be able to buy all the inflatable snow globes and other useful commodities the school/sweatshop can produce.
With this far-sighted vote, Whitefield has demonstrated its commitment to positioning itself as a leader among third-world countries. Our children will thank us.