Writing and Reading

I've been trying to write an essay for the last two weeks, but I just can't seem to get the words to align properly. I (think I) have a fairly clear idea in my head of what I want it to say, and sound like, and convey, but translating that to the page is not working for me. It seems I forgot how to write while I was away this summer. I thought I had written every day—but it turns out I had journaled every day, which is not quite the same thing. In between essay writing, I've been translating those journal entries into the bare, naked bones of my book's first draft, which mostly means typing up my handwritten entires, corralling tense into a consistent present, and incorporating memories with the written word. The actual writing part—making it sound good and make sense, including research and reflection, wrangling my disjointed thoughts into, dare I say, a work of art—will come later. I'm trying to remember if the first draft is always this hard. I know it is. I know that every time I sit down to write something new it is as if I'm starting all over from scratch, with no words or experience behind me. And I know that real, grown-up writers with actual books often feel the same. So I'm trying not to worry. But I'd also like, for once, to write a literary essay in less than two years.

In the meantime, I've been reading. Ravenously. Omnivorously. Insanely. Everything from The Epic of Gilgamesh to The Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency. Pictured above are just some of the books I've started or finished or read some of in the last couple of weeks. Not pictured is Plato's Republic, which I read once before, way back in an ancient philosophy class in college (I know I actually read the whole thing back then because of the highlights and margin notes, something which I rarely do—deface a book! horrors!—but I recognize my three-color highlighter and the funny way I used to write the letter K.). The discussion of the nature of justice seems particularly appropriate considering the current political mayhem in the US. I don't know what this reading binge is all about, but I'm hoping that these other writers' words will work their way into my brain and help dislodge my own words.

P.S. The winner of the Catastrophic Happiness giveaway is Lone Star Ma. Send me a message with your address LSM and I'll get the book into the mail right away!