The sun came out today for the first time in...a long time (we have had 14 days of clouds/rain this June and now 11 days of sun...which doesn't sound so bad if you're not living it). I didn't get a chance to get outside much, because I had a dentist apt. this morning, and stopped at Goodwill and the health food store on my way back to the office, so I walked over to the credit union this afternoon, just to get some rays on my skin. Most of the walk is along sidewalks and through parking lots, but there are a couple of short cuts through vacant lots and vegetated/bushy median thingies. I just walked slowly letting the sun warm my soul and noticing the life around me: white clover, yellow buttercups, yellow and white daisies, roses. I picked some Labrador tea (or is it sweet fern?) leaves and just inhaled their essence.
It's funny, but I've run across several blogs in the last few days that are lamenting how quickly summer's going by. Huh? Summer hasn't even begun here--school just got out last week, it's been cold, rainy, ugh. Our generator has run every day this week, which really bums me out, and we're quickly falling behind on laundry. I did see some strawberries at the (completely water-logged) farmer's market yesterday, but I think the organic ones are ready later than the not-organic ones...and certainly the u-pick fields don't open up until later. This year, I hope to have everything on-hand and ready BEFORE I go pick: jars, lids, rings, pectin, sugar, honey, yogurt tubs (for freezing). I was also hoping to have a chest freezer ready too, but I guess that won't be happening.
I've been feeling super frustrated/grumpy lately, for a variety of reasons, mainly due to feeling like I have little control over how I spend my time, and when I do get a tiny window of time it rapidly gets filled in...like a sandy hole at the beach (or something). I did my share of conversation-monopolizing last night as my monthly writing group, which is more of a quarterly-semi-annual gab/vent/bitch group, but whatever, we did write briefly, which is what opened this font of Andrea Is Unhappy With Her Life...I ended up standing on the sidewalk talking with another member of the group about our respective life frustrations--and truly, she is going through some much more serious sh*t than I am, so I don't know why I'm complaining--so it was good, and cathartic, and still no obvious solution presented itself, but today I've decided to stop focusing on how frustrated I am with whatever I'm frustrated with. Instead I'll pay attention to the flowers as I walk to the bank. I'll pick--and eat--strawberries when they're ripe. I'll take the kids to the beach Saturday whether it's raining or not.
I'll just live. It's summer, dammit!
It is such an ongoing battle for me to be in the moment of beauty and not in my on-going frustration....
ReplyDelete