I had to post a photo of myself on the introductions page of the writing class I'm taking, so I scanned through all of the photos saved on our computer, and the only one I liked is the one you see on the right. So now I am no longer a faceless blogger!! I hope you're not disappointed (like when you see the pictures of Public Radio hosts and they look nothing like their voices).
Anyway, it didn't seem quite the right kind of picture for my purposes, so I held a little self-photo session last night, which was amusing because it's almost impossible to take a photo of yourself without looking like there's something severely wrong with your neck). I took about 50 pictures and rejected most of them because, for some reason, on camera I look like I have wrinkles, bad skin, double chins, poor posture and stringy hair (I'm sure that's not the case in real life, is it?)...anyway I finally settled on one that wasn't too hideous, but here's one of the outtakes:
I was trying to make myself smile naturally by making funny faces...it didn't work. There were several photos in which mosquitoes were caught in the act of biting my face, and after I went inside I was so itchy that I'm sure noseeums invaded my sweater and socks while I was out there.
Speaking of hair (remember, my stringy hair?), please refrain from asking either of the following questions when you first meet me, or ever:
"Does you husband have blond hair? No? Where did your kids get theirs?" This IS blond hair! It says so right on my driver's license (it also says 135 lbs. but we won't talk about that).
Also:
"Three boys? Are you going to try for a girl now?"
Grrr...
Phew, now that I've got that off my chest, I'd like to share with you a letter M wrote to my dad (because he's always asking me very detailed questions about what goes on in the Army, and I keep suggesting he ask someone who's actually been in the army):
"Dear Grandpoppy,
I would like to know about your Military training & tactics. And what did you have to put in the pockets of your uniform? What kinds of food did you have in your M.R.E.s? (Meal Ready to Eat) Did you have fun in your training? What colors did you wear for camouflage? What rank in the Army were you going to be? Love, M---"
I love it--what did you put in your pockets!! Yes my kid is frighteningly obsessed with the military, but he mostly wants to know what colors were the uniforms! My guess is that my dad's training and tactics had a lot to do with beer and bratwurst, since he was stationed in Germany during the 1960s. We'll see what he has to say.
Lone your photos.
ReplyDeleteNo - don't lone them - I meant love them. As in, I love them. And, yes, I am married to an English teacher.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you are one of the most beautiful women I know. If your camera shows flawed skin and hair, there's something wrong with your camera.
ReplyDeleteAs for uniforms, Eli has been obsessed with then since he was able to distinguish them from t-shirts. I swear the only reason he went out for farm team baseball was the hats and shirts and weird baseball pants. Oh, and the cleats. Ugh. Thanks to my dance training cleats look knee twisting systems to me.
Thanks for the phone call, BTW. Looks like it worked.
it's all very alex p. keaton in some ways & i can't help but chuckle. i am sure your dad is going to love getting that letter from m.
ReplyDeleteI forgot to say that I think it is great that your are taking another writing class, that you keep pushing yourself with your writing.
ReplyDeleteYes, taking photos of yourself is next to impossible! So is having a four-year-old take a photo of you...in desperation, I've tried that.
ReplyDeleteI get the stupid, "Three boys? Trying for a girl now?" question too. Irks me!