Friday, June 10, 2022
Flash Friday ~ Effortful Fun
Tuesday, June 7, 2022
New Essay ~ Alligator Pear
Last summer I grew an avocado jungle on my deck.
The previous fall, with school operating on a hybrid schedule and the pandemic unfurling before us toward what seemed like eternity, one of my sons asked if we could start an avocado tree from a pit. Eager for any of my children to show interest in anything that wasn't screen based, I jumped on the idea. I remembered my mom starting avocado trees by piercing pits with toothpicks and suspending them in water in a green depression glass sherbet dish. I didn't have a depression glass sherbet dish, so I used an empty yogurt container, and I didn't have any toothpicks, so I used party picks with paper Pinocchio heads on one end that my mother-in-law had given us for no apparent reason. Otherwise, my sprouting avocado looked exactly like my mom's.
Read the rest of "Alligator Pear" in the Flora issue of Stonecrop Review here.
And if you want to order a copy of my book, Uphill Both Ways: Hiking toward Happiness on the Colorado Trail, you can get it half off from Bison Books through July 15, 2022 with the code 6SUMM22.
Friday, May 27, 2022
Sunrise, Sunset
Exactly 17 years ago today (it was a Friday then, too), we held M's fourth birthday party in the waiting lounge of the maternity ward of the hospital. There were no candles on the cake his grandparents brought---because hospital---but there was ice cream. I sat on one of those uncomfortable hospital couches dressed in a Johnny with two three-day-old babies propped on a nursing pillow, nursing. Curry had done M's birthday shopping, because it was more than I could face at nearly nine months pregnant with 14 1/2 pounds of baby (and online shopping barely existed yet!). He'd bought him Hotwheels and Hotwheels cases, clear plastic boxes with hinged lids, a six-pack of scotch tape, and Peter Pan and Wendy, the original unabridged version, which he'd read out loud several times over the next year.
M turns 21 today. Twenty-one!!! It's a significant birthday, because it's the one you really don't want to spend with your parents. (I remember my 21st. It wasn't pretty.) That's not a problem, since M's in France, on the very last week of his Grand Tour. I suppose the big 21 is a bit anticlimactic in Europe, where the drinking age is 18. And I'm pretty sure that's a good thing. (I was going to go on a digression here about white guys too young to order a beer being allowed to buy weapons of mass murder, but I want to keep it positive.)This week, E and Z both took---and passed---their driving tests, which means I'm relieved of my jitneying duties, and also that I'll never go anywhere again because one or the other of them will have my car (and no doubt be fighting over which of them gets to drive) from here on out. Last Saturday, they attended their school's prom.
And on Tuesday, they turned 17. I didn't have to do much to get ready for their day---E didn't want any gifts and made his own plans with friends, and Z didn't want any plans and asked for Hawaiian shirts and expensive cologne---but still I experienced the Pavlovian early May panic I go through every year thinking about three impending birthdays (aka Second Christmas). (I'm already getting ready to panic next year when when we'll again have two proms, three birthdays, and three graduations.)
The twins wanted pie, not cake, so I made them two beautiful tarts---one triple berry with ginger strudel and one lemon---only I left the tarts in the oven waaaay too long, because the filling didn't look set and I couldn't/wouldn't trust the cooking time. We ended up with very overdone pie. I know there's a metaphor in there for me, but it comes a year too early; I couldn't send them on their way now if I wanted to (and they're definitely not set).
Wednesday, May 25, 2022
Tender Flesh, Delicate Bone
yesterday I opened the nest box
when the parents were away
to see if five pearlescent eggs
the size of marbles
were there
the box was half full
of fluffy white feathers snatched
by the swallows
from the yard
where our ducks
drop them
I lowered my fingertip
into the feathery cloud
and felt not cool, smooth egg,
but warm, tender flesh
sheathing delicate bone
pelted in soft down
feathers
today I woke to the news ---
a man walked into a school
in Uvalde, Texas and gunned
down 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18
- 19 --- and counting ---
children
with weapons of war he ripped
into tender flesh and splintered
delicate bone --- bodies so broken
they had to be identified
with DNA
I remember Columbine ---
I was in the shower when my
husband came in to tell me of
a shooting at a high school in
Littleton
I had to rinse suds from
my hair and wrap up in a
towel before I could press my
ear to the radio and understand ---
a different school from the one
my sister attended
in Littleton
I remember Sandy Hook ---
how I held my breath
all weekend, held my children
close, did not exhale
until Monday
when the school
called to declare a
a snow day
it's unseemly
to borrow tragedy,
imagine yourself in another
mother's pain
yet this morning I walked outside
tears in my eyes, ache in my gut
past the nest box
where the mother
swallow swooped
low over my head
and clacked at me with
her bill
I can still feel her babies'
downy feathers
on my fingertip,
the warm tender flesh
enclosing the
delicate bones
Wednesday, May 11, 2022
Book Stack ~ April 2022
A monthly post about what I've been reading, with aspirations
but no real hope of reading down a very tall stack of books.
Previous posts from this year:
Don't forget you can order a copy of my book, Uphill Both Ways: Hiking toward Happiness on the Colorado Trail from any of the vendors listed here.
Friday, May 6, 2022
My Jane Addiction
It's been a repeated urge these past two years, a desire for escape, a search for connection--escape from pandemic disease and ugly politics and (now) war, connection with stories, with characters, especially characters different from the ones I live with and see every day. The search takes place in the pages of books, yes, but more so on the screen, because inherent in the need to escape and to connect is a need to shut down--the muscles required to sit semi-vertical, turn pages, and run the eye across lines of text, the synapses that must fire to find meaning in symbols, to turn words into mental pictures.
There was a time when my TV watching was limited to Sunday night Masterpiece on PBS, but that was a person with much more energy than I, one who had little kids to occupy her evening hours and who filled spare moments with writing and making. I miss her, a little bit, but she also makes me tired. For a while during the early months of the pandemic, watching shows was a way to be together as a family without the painful-for-all-involved efforts of trying to get teenagers to chat. But it wasn't long before we couldn't find a show that everyone enjoyed, or we adults couldn't binge with as much commitment as the teens, so we fell behind. Now, except for the sacred Monday night single episode of Friends, Curry and I are on our own.We usually have one or two shows going at a time. We're all over the map genre-wise; we like British shows, period drama, comedy (though I like smart-funny, he likes stupid-funny), mysteries (without either too much drama or too much angst; humorous murder is our favorite, though rare, genre). We recently watched Inventing Anna, The Great, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, Breeders. We're still devoted to Sunday night Masterpiece.
Whatever we're watching together, I have a show going that's mine, something to watch as a reward at the end of the day, after long hours of writing and sorting through emails and jitneying kids here and there, before I start dinner, or while it simmers on the stove, something to binge late into the night when the world gets to be too awful and I don't want to lie in bed thinking about it.
For my shows, I search for something with women at the center of the storyline. Gilmore Girls carried me through many months of the pandemic. I liked that Curry hated it (ask my kids--it can be fun to irritate other people), and I liked that it was about relationships among women--mothers and daughters and grandmothers, friends and frenemies. I've watched shows about women who surround themselves with men (New Girl, The Mindy Project), shows about how relentless, unforgiving, and thankless motherhood is (Workin' Moms, The Letdown), and shows about women getting older (Grace and Frankie).
My new favorite show, perhaps my favorite show of all, is Jane the Virgin. I'd avoided watching it because the premise is ridiculous (Jane, a virgin, is accidentally artificially inseminated). But when I heard a podcaster whose taste I respect mention it, I gave it a try. And guys, I love it so much. It is ridiculous, but it's also smart and sweet and funny. It pokes gentle fun at the telenovela genre while embracing all of its over-the-top melodrama--crime lords, evil twins, faked deaths, an inordinate number of people killed by being tossed off hotel balconies--in its plot lines, plus a healthy dose of magical realism. But the human emotions, the relationship challenges and triumphs, the everyday experiences of the characters are so real.
And the acting is so good--you believe every emotion Jane has (and she has a lot). They manipulate your emotions as viewer, so that you hate certain characters one episode and love them the next. And though it's ultimately a romance (characters falling in and out of love right and left), the relationships among Jane and her mother and grandmother, as well as her father and her son, take up as least as much space as romance, and are far more interesting. Plus, it takes place in Miami, where everyone where's sundresses all the time, and everything is brightly colored. It makes me feel warm just watching it. I also get to pretend to practice my Spanish whenever Abuela speaks or Rogelio acts in his telenovelas.
As a bonus, Jane's a writer, and the show follows her journey from first published short story to fist bad review (and beyond), without sugarcoating the work that goes into the effort. (I admit, when I see Jane typing after Mateo goes to bed, I feel a little bit guilty that I'm on the couch watching TV). And, coup de grace, Fiesta ware dishes make an appearance in a few scenes, and there's the most gorgeous Art Deco vase in the first episode, in the exam room where Jane's fate is sealed. If that's not enough to make you want to watch, I don't know what is.
Wednesday, May 4, 2022
Stay Together, Learn the Flowers, Go Light
The day after I submitted the final manuscript of my book to the publisher, I read the poem “For the Children” by Gary Snyder, which ends:
To climb these coming crests
one word to you, to
you and your children:
stay together
learn the flowers
go light
These two stanzas would have made the perfect epigraph for my book. . .
So begins my essay "Stay Together, Learn the Flowers, Go Light," published yesterday in The Art of Everyone.
And don't forget you can order a copy of my book, Uphill Both Ways: Hiking toward Happiness on the Colorado Trail from any of the vendors listed here.




