Thursday, November 18, 2010


November descended on me with the weight of its leaden gray skies. Suddenly everything began to seem like So. Much. Work. Like a great big stone wall rose up in front of me and I had to break through it before I could accomplish anything--creative projects, writing (although the Wall is kind of a permanent feature in my writing life these days), basic housework (I've been able to keep up the weekly Bewitching, but the basement project has come to a screeching halt), even real work.

And my blog of course got caught up in the un-momentum, though part of the problem was that I had a sudden urgency to upload all of the photos I've been ignoring on our for the last three years to Snapfish right now, prompted by a three for one sale on photo books. This involved a complicated process of copying pictures from one computer onto CDs and then uploading them from another computer with a more reliable internet connection online, trying to cull out a few gazillion photos at each step along the way. Flipping though those millions of photos was like watching my life flash before my eyes--or at least the part of my life that has taken place since 2007 (and of course the sale ended by the time I got all the pictures online, without even starting to organize them into books, but I did get our holiday cards ordered, somewhat impulsively just to keep my account from expiring).

Anyway, back to the walls, I thought perhaps if I could break through one wall, in one realm, the others would come down too. And it's true that each wall demolition was accompanied by a little surge of energy--a manic to my depressive--new ones would spring up all around--bam, bam, bam. I felt like a mime in an invisible box.

Maybe it was the drizzly winter the first couple weeks of November. Maybe it was the hangover from the election, a realization that not only is my future very uncertain, but perhaps I actually care about it a bit more than I thought. Whatever it was, I had thought I'd spend this month getting ready for NEXT month, getting a jump start on holiday planning and creating, but as it turns out, I'm just dreading next month.

So I don't know what exactly the point of all this rambling is, but consider it another wall broken down--bam!


  1. Well, we're glad you're back, even if you're unsure of where you're going. I'd wondered what happened to you. I hope you're feeling a little less blahhhh soon.


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